#053: Poly Holidays, Body Shaming, and Topping From the Bottom

It’s Christmas Eve, and we’re bringing you another Q and A episode. Today’s questions include: how to juggle holiday schedules when you’re poly, dealing with jealousy in a triad, what to do when someone body-shames you at a kink event, managing sickness in you polycule, whether submission is a product of nature or nurture, and more.

PLUS: Rigel (accidentally) cripples Cassie immediately after discussing power exchange, and Cassie lines up a fucksaw date for our kinky New Years Eve party in Baltimore.

Questions in this episode

  • We are a triad, and we seem to be running into a jealousy issue where the husband and I are fighting over the wife. Do you have any advice?
  • What do you do when your partner wants to be polyamorous but wants you to be monogamous? I’d be ok with us being either, but not me being one and him being the other.
  • Do online D/s relationships really work, or should I be looking for a partner IRL?
  • Rigel, when did you realize you were a bottom or a switch? Do you think wanting to be submissive comes from nature, or nurture? Am I a late bloomer?
  • My partners and I are overweight and got body-shamed at a kink event. How do you deal with body insecurity, and how can I help my partners?
  • How do you juggle scheduling with your partners over the holidays?
  • I’ve played twice with a prospective Dominant who has refused to give me feedback about our play sessions. How can I ask for feedback without topping from the bottom?  
  • How do you manage contagious (non-STI) illnesses in your polycule (without invading your partners’ privacy)?
  • I have fallen for my friend-with-benefits of eight years. How can I tell them my feelings without screwing up our relationship if the conversation goes poorly?
  • When you’re dating someone who isn’t kinky but is compatible in other ways, is it worth trying to persuade them to give it a try? Or should you look for someone who is already kinky?

Resources Mentioned

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