Every day we speak with folks who are facing challenges in their polyamorous relationships. Some know they need help, but decide to put it off till later. This has been a heartbreaking week for us; we conducted our end-of-year check-ins only to discover that the vast majority of the people who needed help but decided to wait are now broken up. On today’s episode, we discuss why it can be hard to seek help, three reasons folks tend to ignore problems in their relationships until it’s too late, warning signs that you need help NOW, and where you can go to get it.
For today’s show, we wanted to do something a bit special. We know that when you’re polyamorous it can be difficult to explain things to your family and friends… so we decided to do that for you. This episode isn’t for you, but for your loved ones. In it, we answer the most common questions that folks have when their loved ones are poly, and clear up some common misconceptions. Links and a description you can share with your loved ones can be found in the show notes.
It’s a Q&A episode! Yay! Today, we take a bunch of questions from folks wanting to know about: fathering children for other couples in your polycule, bridging the desire gap in a triad, the difference between Mormons and other polyamorous folks, what to do when your partner (who knew you were poly) tries to force you into monogamy, and much more.
We love talking and teaching about relationships, but sometimes you just gotta talk about sex. In the poly world, sometimes sexual partners may be other romantic partners, and other times they are friends with benefits. Today, we take a deep dive on the reasons folks may want to have casual sex, the conversations that must take place between a couple before you begin talking with other people, and what folks tend to screw up. Then we give some pro tips on both negotiating casual sex and how to handle that sex while it’s going down.
This week, we are back with another highly requested Q&A episode! If you submitted your question and it isn’t here, don’t worry as we will be increasing the frequency of q and episodes in the near future. Just a few of the things we get down on in this week’s episode include: where to find a person to date as a couple, if you should break up if you aren’t attracted to your partner, what to do when there are no “benefits” with your friend with benefits, and if we need more “amory” in polyamory.
When you run into problems in your poly relationships, where do you turn for advice? If you’re like many folks, you talk to other partners, to your friends, to folks in your poly communities (either local or online). But that leads to conflicting answers, confusion, and a lack of results. In this episode, we discuss how getting your relationships advice from friends and family is causing more problems than it’s solving, and what you should do instead.
Alan M. has been a poly activist for 13 years and is best known for his website Polyamory in the News. He tells us what Polyamory in the News is, how it got started, and his insights of how the world of Poly has changed over the years in terms of community, acceptance, and its portrayal in the media. Alan also shares predictors of the most successful poly relationships, tips for being a powerful Poly spokesperson, and we discuss the possibility of poly marriage as it relations to ceremony and legal acceptance.
When your partner’s unhappy and unsatisfied it’s easy to feel guilty… especially if you were the driving force behind opening op the relationship. But that guilt is just piling more hurdles on top of the barriers you’re already facing. In this episode, we dive deep into exactly what that guilt is costing you and how it could be the very thing driving you and your partner further apart.
Today we are talking with Jenelle Marie Pierce, Founder & Executive Director of The STD Project, spokesperson for PositiveSingles.com, and tri-chair of the Communications Actions Group at the National Coalition for Sexual Health. We discuss hype vs reality when it comes to STIs, how you should think about evaluating risk in your relationships, STIs and polyamory, evaluating the conflicting information surrounding STI’s, the common struggles folks face when they test positive for STI’s, and the activism and education that The STD Project is providing in the sexual health arena.
One of you is polyamorous. The other is monogamous. Everyone is telling you that you’re incompatible, and selfish to boot. That’s BS. This week’s episode features audio from a recent Facebook Live where we told you why what you’ve been told is dead wrong, and how BOTH partners in a poly/mono couple can be empowered and fulfilled.
Ruby Johnson, sex therapist and educator, joins us to discuss the challenges people of color face in the poly community and in their non-monogamous relationships. We talk with Ruby on what is happening now in polyamorous community, and ways we could make it more inclusive at the individual, community and leadership levels. We also talk about the various groups Ruby has worked with and started to bring awareness to this subject, some of the myths and stigmas causing problems for people of color in the poly community, and common challenges that interracial poly groups and couples face when navigating their relationships.
We love all our listener questions! Today we tackle a bunch including a hardball question about our adoption plans, how to handle unwanted compliments after a scene, what to do when you feel undateable, ways to get your partner to open up and explore some kink, and why we encourage sex BEFORE marriage.
On today’s episode, we explore the four most harmful myths about polyamory… three of which are coming from INSIDE the poly community. We see these myths pop up time and time again, and want to debunk them once and for all to help folks build and sustain amazing relationships. Understanding these myths and taking action upon them will be an enormous step in your poly journey.
If you’re poly or kinky you’ve likely realized the importance of surrounding yourself with a community of like-minded people. Today we’re speaking with Sarah Taub Sarah on what community is, why it’s important to have one, the difference between a commune and an intentional community, and how an individual can take steps towards joining a community or starting their own. Sarah also explains why clear communication, strong boundaries, and the ability to hold space are even more crucial in communities, and discusses effective ways to resolve conflict in a community.
Today’s episode features Part 2 of our Q&A! We kick it off with a question regarding moving in with someone you have never met in person, and how it may change the power dynamic. Next, we give our thoughts on the ideal living arrangements for poly triads, tackle the issues of guilt and fear, how to divide time in a group dynamic, and where to turn during a wrongful accusation of a consent violation. Finally, we share the announcement of our Desire Map, and why it can be a game changer for you and your partner(s).