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#005: Butt Stuff, Bad Boys, and Poly Sleeping Arrangements

Can you be kinky if you don’t like it in the butt? Are there any sane poly people around? How do you approach nillas you’re interested in about kink and/or poly? What should you do when you get no matches on dating sites? On today’s episode, Cassie and Rigel will be answering these questions and more. We’ve got a ton of dating and relationship-focused questions in this episode, so don’t miss out!

Plus: Someone gives Cassie shade for giving a sub a BJ.

Note from Rigel:
We answer a few questions about poly sleeping arrangements in this episode. I’ve found that one of the hardest things to figure out when you have more than two people in a bed is how big a bed you need in the first place. Almost all of the advice I’ve seen is written for couples.

So, here’s the only bed sizing advice I’ve seen that can be applied to groups: Have everyone who is going to be sleeping in the bed on a regular basis lie down in the bed side-by-by side on their backs with their hands behind their heads and their elbows outstretched to the sides. If you can’t do that without people touching elbows, the bed is most likely too small to be comfortable on a long-term basis.

Questions in this episode

  • Can you be kinky if you don’t like it in the butt?
  • What are some ways to have fun at an open play event if you’re going alone?
  • Is it possible to have a fulfilling relationship with an asexual?
  • Are there any sane, experienced poly people around?
  • What should you do when you get no matches on dating sites?
  • How do you introduce primary partners to secondary partners?
  • Why do women want a bad boy?
  • How does a couple broach the topic of poly to a person/couple they’re interested in?
  • How do you approach people outside of a kink or poly event without scaring them off?
  • Is it possible to find a relationship that’s both monogamous and kinky?
  • Navigating poly sleeping arrangements.

Resources Mentioned

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TOF Founders Cassie and Josh Fuller are professional relationship coaches. Over the last twelve years, they’ve helped polyamorous clients all over the world overcome their struggles and create thriving relationships. We’re here to answer one question: “How can you build the relationship(s) of your dreams, even if nothing has ever worked before?” If you want to know the answer, subscribe to our podcast and we’ll see you there.

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