Relationships Outside the Box

Relationship and dating advice for non-monogamous and kinky folks.

Get Two Kinky Dates in the Next Two Weeks

Our free workshop shows you three powerful steps to find a kinky partner online.

We’re building extraordinary relationships in an ordinary world.

You have it all. You’re kinky. You’re smart. You’re successful. You’re well on the way to having the lifestyle you’ve always pictured. And if you’re found this site, chances are that you’ve realized by now that the most important piece of that puzzle is your romantic relationships.

Maybe you’re single or the perpetual secondary, and you’re looking for incredible kinky partner(s) of your own. Maybe you’re non-monogamous and trying to figure out how to make your open relationships work. Maybe you’re struggling to balance your power exchange relationships and your everyday life. Or maybe you’re just looking to turn an average kinky relationship into an extraordinary and fulfilling one.

You’re not alone. Our romantic relationships are some of the most important things in our lives. And building awesome relationships takes constant work and growth. But unfortunately when you step outside of society’s norms, good relationship advice is hard to come by.

Here’s the thing: Having a different idea of what relationships look like doesn’t make you any less deserving of having relationships that you desire. You deserve happiness. And you deserve the best help you can get to help you build the extraordinary relationships that you’ve always dreamed of.

That’s why we’re here. We’re kinksters with a passion for relationships. Our team is made up of people like you. We understand your lifestyle and the unique challenges you face in trying to find love. We recognize that your gender and orientation may not fit into the “traditional” mold. And we’ve spent ten years helping people like you build extraordinary relationships in an ordinary world.

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What People are Saying:

Cassie helped me move past a horrible break up that ruined me for a long time. I thought that the problems from that bad relationship would keep me from ever having normal romantic relationships again. But working with Cassie has helped me to realize that I deserve to be happy and have healthy relationships. Cassie showed me the tough love I needed to make changes in my life.


After having my consult with Cassie I had zero reservations about going forward with coaching. It wasn’t if I was doing coaching sessions with her, but when. I was convinced after the consult that coaching was something I needed to do. Over the months I have worked with Cassie I have learned so much about dating. She has taught me a different approach to dating that has opened up opportunities I would have never had. For example I would not be talking to the girl I am now if I wouldn’t have had Cassie’s advice on how to ask her out. The new approaches she has taught me, are working. I am a lot more optimistic and confident and I am getting the dates and growing the relationships I want.


The Types of Men You Meet in Online Dating

Online dating can be a minefield for anyone. When you’re kinky, and you identify yourself as such, you get a wide variety of messages: hilarious, irritating, flattering, confusing and just plain gross. After a period of time using a popular dating site and a hookup app, I began noticing that most of the men on these sites fall into one of five categories. I have written up these Online Dating Archetypes and their typical messages here for your entertainment.

These Eleven Immature Dating Habits Are Killing Your Chances

When someone we’re dating decides to move on it’s easy to blame them for the end of the relationship. It’s much harder to acknowledge the truth that our own bad habits are often at fault. Relationship after relationship we keep making the same mistakes, and wonder why we keep getting the same results. It’s the very definition of insanity. If this sounds like you, I want to help. Here are eleven immature dating habits that you should start breaking today:

Dating: When Fairness Matters, and When It Doesn’t

We often hear the word “fair” used to describe our dating relationships. Our definition of fairness is often vague, because most of us use the word to describe a sort of ideal, healthy dating relationship without ever stopping to consider what “fair” actually means. Since we view it more as an ideal than a skill we never stop to consider what “fair” actually means. That’s a problem, because if you want to find, get, and keep quality partners, fairness is a skill you have to master.

The Kinksters Guide to Negotiating a BDSM Scene

Consent is important. Super fucking important. In fact, it’s the one thing that differentiates BDSM from abuse.

The concept of consent isn’t hard. But as with anything the devil is in the details.

And when it comes to consent those details are in how we negotiate. Consent is a concept. But negotiation is how we put that concept into action.

We put this video together to teach you good negotiation skills. Watch it. Use it. Share it.

Submissive Dating: How to Attract a Domme (Kinkly)

Finding a vanilla partner is hard, but it’s nothing compared to trying to find a Domme. Dominant women are in high demand, and it’s a seller’s market. But never fear We wrote a post on Kinkly to teach you how to attract a Dominant Woman. Go read it now!.

You’re Not Alone: Finding a Kinky Partner

Are you going to die kinky and lonely?

Finding a partner is hard enough in the vanilla world. But it can seem impossible in the kink world. You want to find a quality partner, but you want to find someone who meets your unique needs. It can be hard to know the best path because most of the information out there targets vanilla relationships.

If you find yourself asking yourself: What do I need to know before getting started? Do I have a better chance of meeting someone online or offline? Where do the kinky people hang out? How should I approach a potential partner?

Then this article is for you.