#040: Unwanted Compliments, Feeling Undateable, and Awkward Group Sex

We love all our listener questions! Today we tackle a bunch including a hardball question about our adoption plans, how to handle unwanted compliments after a scene, what to do when you feel undateable, ways to get your partner to open up and explore some kink, and why we encourage sex BEFORE marriage.

Rigel’s note: If anyone is familiar with the article I mention when answering the question at 8:23, I’d greatly appreciate if you forward it to me! I refer to this article regularly but I read it years ago and can’t locate it. Thanks!

Questions in this episode

  • What is the update on your adoption process, and why don’t you want to be a test case for poly adoption?
  • I’ve been playing with my husband for 5 years, and just went to my first BDSM party in a public space. People commented on my technique, and this made me feel awkward. What should I do?
  • Have you been complimented after a scene? If so, how did you handle it?
  • I’ve tried many different things, but I still feel undateable. I need touch, and I can’t pay for it all the time. What can I do?
  • I suffer from vulvodynia, and this often makes PIV sex uncomfortable or painful. This lead to my boyfriend feeling negative about sex. How do I have conversations with him and get him to open up?
  • How do I make group interactions where two people don’t interact sexually less complicated, specifically in a situation where two members of the group are trying to get pregnant?
  • I am a virgin Christian, and saving sex for marriage. Porn is my main outlet for sexual curiosity, and I like hardcore porn. What if it scares away my future wife?
  • How do you navigate conversations when Partner A wants a lot of info about your activities with Partner B, but Partner B is uncomfortable with the level of detail?

Resources Mentioned


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