#037: Rainbow Umbrellas, Vegan Apple Pie, and How Polys Pay the Bills

Today’s episode features Part 2 of our Q&A! We kick it off with a question regarding moving in with someone you have never met in person, and how it may change the power dynamic. Next, we give our thoughts on the ideal living arrangements for poly triads, tackle the issues of guilt and fear, how to divide time in a group dynamic, and where to turn during a wrongful accusation of a consent violation. Finally, we share the announcement of our Desire Map, and why it can be a game changer for you and your partner(s).

Questions in this episode

  • I’ve been talking to someone online for 2 years. He has asked me many times to relocate and live with him, but we haven’t met. Is this a good idea, and how can I go about this in the best way? I don’t want to mess up the power dynamic while I’m making my decision.
  • My wife and our girlfriend have been together for two years. Financially it makes sense for us to all live together, but we want to make sure we are doing the right thing. Do most find that poly triads work best if all partners live together, or separately? What are the issues that come up, and how do you overcome those issues?
  • I’m the third in an FMF triad where the wife wants every activity to be the three of us. I love doing things with both my partners, but sometimes would like to go things with just one partner, or the other. I spend 99% of my time with my female partner and would like the opportunity to have those dyad experiences with my male partner as well. Is this unrealistic?
  • I have been wrongly accused of s consent violation. What do I do?
  • My wife and I were married before we decided to go poly. She has since picked up a boyfriend, and I am still struggling and feeling guilty for going against our vows.
  • When my wife and I started to talk about me dating, she seemed super positive and encouraged me. When I put effort into it, I get the feeling she doesn’t like it as much as she says.
  • I can’t ever tell if my wife is in the mood. How do I know what she wants, and when she wants it?

Resources Mentioned

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