#036: Poly Myths, the Dominant Perspective, and Hot Mermaid Chicks

August 20, 2018

Today’s episode is part one of a two-part Q&A, and we love hearing your questions and experiences, keep them coming! We talk about: building a poly-friendly society, the emotions behind jealousy and guilt in open relationships, the biggest myths of monogamy, what to do when a fantasy goes wrong, and intricacies between multiple partners in different power dynamics.

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Resources Mentioned:

Show Notes:

[1:55] How does the concept of multiple partners work, and how would it work long-term in society?

[3:20] Negotiating how you are going to divide your time, energy and resources in love and realizing when you are too saturated to give anymore is a huge part of navigating polyamory and open relationships.

[4:52] Even the most enlightened and seasoned polyamorous folks experience jealous feelings and reactions. The key is to practice observing the jealousy, and know when to employ self soothing, and when it is a sign that other needs and wants are not being met.

[10:25] We discuss the myths that our romantic partner should fill all our needs, and be the only human to fulfill every aspect in our life.

[14:14] Poly gives us a chance to explore different roles and emotions within ourselves.

[19:12] There is always someone better than you at something, and that’s okay. We all experience different parts of ourselves with different partners. Your partner loves you for the unique collection of things that makes you, you. They’re no more likely to leave you because someone is better in bed than because someone makes better pancakes.

[19:51] How can I find the right girl to be with, and what am I doing wrong?

[20:23] While you are looking for the “perfect partner”, be open to all possibilities and opportunities. You want to look for your own kind, try going out to kink or poly groups in your area, and if you’re using dating apps make sure to be upfront about being non-monogamous.

[28:02] My boyfriend and I had an interaction and new experience that didn’t go that well, and now he is acting differently towards me. What can I do?

[36:57] My wife acts like a total new person when her boyfriend is around, and it turns me on. Is that normal?

[37:57] It is not uncommon for different partners to bring out varying levels of sexuality and submissiveness / dominance. If you feel like something is hot and awesome, enjoy it! Chances are, it’s not as weird or rare as you think.

[44:42] Surround yourself with people that enjoy the same things as you!

[46:02] How should I address a Dom when talking to the first time online? Is it okay to ask them to dinner without calling them Madam or Mistress?

[46:03] To Rigel, submission is something that is earned, not given away right off the bat.

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