How do I get my partner to spank me?

A common question I get is this:

“How do I get my partner to spank me? Or how do I  tell my significant other I want to spank them…? I’m nervous to talk to them about it.”

Many of times the underlying thought is: I’m interested in spanking but I’m not sure if my significant other is.

It Starts by Defining What You Want

Before you approach your significant other about spanking, it’s important to think about what you want. If you don’t know exactly what you want…that’s okay! Welcome to the world of kink! Your feelings are going to constantly change, and that’s okay. But if you’re new to spanking, sit down and think about your feelings. Try answering the following questions as a start:

• Do you want to be spanked? Do you want to do the spanking? Both?
• Is spanking something you want only in the bedroom or are you interested in taking this outside of sex as well?
• How often do you want to be spank or be spanked? Often or just occasionally?
• Do you want to be spanked or spank hard enough to cause pain? If so how much?
• Do you want to be spank or be spanked as part of roleplaying?
• Once you do a little soul-searching about what you want, it’s time to talk to your significant other.

Bringing Up the Topic of  Spanking

Did you know that many people out there are interested in spanking? I’ve seen studies that suggest that anywhere from 10% to 20% of adults are interested in spanking at least occasionally. And these are the people who admit it! So your partner might already be interested in it or at least open-minded about it.

That being said you need to go into the conversation knowing that your significant other might not be interested. And that’s okay. Not all kinks are for everyone. There are many other things you can explore together.

Spanking, Relationships, and Hard Choices

Spanking isn’t right for every person. Hopefully, in your case, it works out. If not, there are hard decisions that have to be made. When you talk to your partner about spanking you, there are some different reactions he might have:

• Total acceptance because they wanted to try it to!
• Acceptance and curiosity – they are not sure if they will like it, but are willing to try
• Acceptance but not into it
• No acceptance – they think it is weird, gross, or wrong

Hopefully, acceptance will be part of the outcome.

No matter what anyone tries to tell you, SEXUAL COMPATIBILITY IS IMPORTANT. You need to be with someone who matches your desires. If your partner has different desires or a different sex drive than you do, you owe it to yourself be with someone who fits you better.  For some people, sex isn’t as important as it is for others. You need to determine what is right for you and be truthful about what your needs, desires, and expectations are.