#034: You’re Not Broken: BDSM, Injury, and Illness
May 23, 2018
Although we all hope it will never happen to us, at some point in our lives we will have to deal with an injury or illness that will affect our play partners, our loved ones, and our sex life.
Today we’re going to discuss the painful struggles, the frustrating role reversals, and the disappointing emotions that result from having chronic pain or serious injuries in a BDSM relationship. We’ll also give you some advice on how to cope with these issues so you can enjoy your relationships, your sex, and your play again.
PLUS: A lot of talk about hoes, and Cassie compares play to crab cakes.
*** Updated 06/26/18 to reflect safety information about using violet wants with heart conditions.
For reference, here’s a picture of Cassie’s car after her first accident (she was in the passenger side).
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- Spoon Theory by Christine Miserandino.
- Ring Theory- How not to say the wrong thing.
- NCSF’s Kink Aware Professionals Directory.
00:01:24 Cassie’s hoes are all in the same area codes.
00:02:19 Crabcakes and pussy.
00:04:45 “Hoe” is a term of endearment.
00:06:10 Rigel and Cassie finally get on top of it. Sort of.
00:07:00 Why it’s important for kinksters to discuss injury and illness.
00:08:48 It is not a matter of if, it is a matter of when.
00:09:46 Cassie talks about her experience with chronic pain and illness.
00:12:07 Your health affects everything, especially the little things.
00:18:01 Determining your spoons and their value.
00:26:27 Suggestions for those who have few spoons.
00:29:13 A word to the good intentioned advice givers.
00:31:42 Who you should actually be complaining to when things suck.
00:34:56 Playing when you have injuries or illness.
00:35:11 Invisible illness and injury is a thing.
00:39:58 Giving consideration as the partner of someone with a chronic condition.
00:43:40 Lowing the chance of accidental harm.
00:46:29 Why you should be honest with your doctors.