#002: Consent Violations and Consent Accidents with Charlie Glickman
August 1, 2017
Consent is an incredibly important topic in our world. Perhaps the most important.
When consent is breached, sometimes it’s an intentional consent violation. Sometimes, it’s the result of error, miscommunication, or misunderstanding. It’s a consent accident. But how much does intent matter when you cross someone’s boundaries?
Today we’re talking to Charlie Glickman PhD about the definition of a consent accident, the difficulties with distinguishing between a consent accident and a consent violation, how to move forward when a consent accident does happen, and tips for avoiding a consent accident in the first place.
At the end of the episode we’ll have our first ever speed round; which you can expect to see in all of our future shows.
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- Charlie’s Consent Accidents and Consent Violations Blog Post
- Flowchart: How to Evaluate a Scene Gone Wrong
- Betty Martin’s Wheel of Consent.
- Betty Martin’s 3 minutes game.
- The Kinksters Guide to Negotiating a BDSM Scene – TOF video.
- The Five Languages of Apology by Gary Chapman.
- Dealing With a Shameover – Charlie’s blog.
- Brown’s book I thought it was just Me.
- The National Coalition for Sexual Freedom
- Old Man’s War by John-Scalzi.
- Charlie’s site.
00:03:26 The story behind this discussion.
00:06:22 What prompted Charlie to write his article.
00:07:25 Do intentions matter when you hurt someone?
00:08:55 Rigel doesn’t like the phrase consent violation. Charlie does.
00:10:30 Determining a true accident can be tricky.
00:12:02 How to take accountability for a consent accident.
00:13:23 The difference between a consent accident and a consent violation.
00:15:01 Predators and consent accidents.
00:17:33 How Charlie deals with consent accidents.
00:19:00 Compliance and violating our own boundaries.
00:22:05 You can’t retroactively revoke consent.
00:26:53 Steps to overcome the tendency towards compliance.
00:34:27 Moving forward from consent accidents.
00:42:16 Preventing consent accidents.
00:51:34 Resources if consent accidents or consent violations happen.
00:56:08 BDSM as a contact sport and being risk aware.
01:01:36 Speed round.