The allure of a 24/7 D/s relationship comes from erotica, porn, and listening to all sorts of stories being thrown about. There’s the
The truth of the matter: you can certainly have all these things be a part of your daily life in a 24/7 D/s relationship. The problems arise when you assume that it’s going to be kink and sex every minute of every day. It turns out there are pesky things that get in the way like real life responsibilities and logistics. My personal D/s dynamic relationship is heavily service-oriented, and this is how a typical day goes for myself and my Captain.
I wake up in the morning, generally an hour before he does. This is possibly the truest act of service I can ever provide because dear gods do I hate mornings. I am a night owl, but my Captain needs me up in the morning, so a morning person I shall be. Not only do I need to be up in the mornings during his work week (which is thankfully condensed down to a portion of the week instead of 5 days), but I need to be on the ball and ready to provide service.
There’s a typical routine for morning he’s not heading out on business travel: waking him up with coffee prepared to his preferences, getting breakfast ready at the same time or shortly after that, opening the curtains in his room to let in sun, and handling any tidying up that may have gotten left over from the night before. It’s a lot more complicated when he’s headed out on the road for business travel, as I need to make sure that his suitcase is packed properly, in addition to my typical morning service. Once he’s up and about, I’ll make the bed quickly (since I tend to perch there with my laptop) and ramble at him about whatever. It’s pretty typical couple stuff at this point. I’ll check my service to-do list we collaborate on to figure out my schedule for the rest of the day.
After I take care of the morning stuff, I have a few hours where I’m either working (I have my own business I run from home) or hanging out in the room with my Captain while we watch videos or play video games or play. I’ll watch his coffee cup and handle refills if he needs them, provide assistance with any business related things he may need help with, such as looking up information or scanning documents, and providing snacks if needed. I also feed our cat, change out her water, and clean her litter box. If I’m not working, I will generally work on a meal plan for the next few days and prepare a grocery list.
Lunch preparation tends to be fairly quick, either involving leftovers, lunch meat, or something else that generally takes less than half an hour to prepare. If I need to go to a grocery store, I generally try to head out after lunch, as it’s within walking distance and I don’t want to try to run home as the sun is setting. I tend to take care of lunch and breakfast dishes at this time if I haven’t already gone through them in the morning. Then it’s more hanging out time, random tasks are
Throughout the day, I’ll take plates from meals back to the kitchen, do the first of two dish washings (my kingdom for a dishwasher), check the humidors and maintain their humidity levels, handle small amounts of cleaning, do laundry if needed, and in general putz around as needed and do my work and hobbies in between. There’s actually a good amount of downtime, it’s not like I’m running around all day doing nothing but serving.
Dinner prep is more extensive since that is the more elaborate meal of the day for us, so that might take an hour or two depending on what’s going on with it. The main service challenge for me here is that we have a wonderful place with a tiny, tiny kitchen so that makes doing multiple course meals or more elaborate food options fairly difficult. Of course, it also means when we upgrade that I’m going to have all sorts of awesome developed skills that I can adapt to every size kitchen.
After dinner, we shift into our night time routine. I’ll fully make the bed since I tend to mess it up throughout the day by sitting on it, switch over to low or no caffeine tea for the drink of choice, prepare dessert or other after dinner snacks, and commence with more couple hang out time.
On paper, this routine might sound a bit mundane but the joy and fulfillment I get out of serving my Captain make it a lot more than just doing a dish here or making a meal there. It’s a way to show him how much I care about him, our dynamic, and our overall relationship.
With previous partners, especially before I got involved in the BDSM scene, being that giving of myself often got taken for granted, or rejected, because of a myriad of reasons. In my service dynamic, we are on the same page with appreciating each other’s role in service, checking in to maintain open communication on service things, and making sure that there isn’t any room for things being taken for granted. We’re both human, so there are missteps along the way, but when we acknowledge the mistakes and respond appropriately, it helps to build a solid foundation for our relationship and our dynamic. The intent behind the service is what makes the difference between service submission and simply a kinky maid service (which are also awesome in their own right).