#047: Cis Men, Craigslist Dating, and Putting The “Amory” in Polyamory

This week, we are back with another highly requested Q&A episode! If you submitted your question and it isn’t here, don’t worry as we will be increasing the frequency of q and episodes in the near future.

Just a few of the things we get down on in this week’s episode include: where to find a person to date as a couple, if you should break up if you aren’t attracted to your partner, what to do when there are no “benefits” with your friend with benefits, and if we need more “amory” in polyamory. 

Questions in this episode

  • My wife found someone at a play party she was interested in and he seemed to negotiate the sexual encounter like a BDSM scene.
  • Can you do an episode regarding what good and bad examples of those conversations look like?
  • What can folks do to tie the knot and make things more equitable in a group marriage? What are you specifically planning to do in your situation?
  • We have a play relationship with another kinky couple, with whom I have tied the male many times. We hang out many times, and each time play is pushed further back. I feel like we’ve gotten away from the kinky fun, and I want more fun hangout time. How do I bring this up and not seem narrow-minded?
  • I’ve been online dating from age 16 – 29. A few months ago, there were popular writings on FetLife (Kinky and Popular) and Facebook about how Cis men should be run out of the community, and my friends tended to agree with the posts. I recognize that most of the people responding were hurt from the past, but now I feel shut out and confused.
  • I wonder if we put too much emphasis on “poly and not enough on “amory.” The point is having committed relationships no matter what the number is. What are your thoughts?
  • I have a few questions about finding a poly girlfriend together:
    • Where do we look? Craigslist seems shady.
    • Once we meet her, do we meet her separately? Or do we both meet them together?
    • How do we begin dating, and then move to have a live-in girlfriend?
  • I’ve had a girlfriend for two years. She is beautiful, sweet, and caring. But, I’m not attracted to her in that way anymore. My friends think I am nuts for possibly breaking up with her, and I don’t want to break her heart, but I don’t know what to do.

Resources Mentioned

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