Are you curious about female ejaculation, also known as squirting? I love to teach about the details behind squirting: the biological process, the history of its study and subsequent social stigma and fetishization. Here is a list of things that I believe everyone should know about female ejaculation.
1. Squirting isn’t a superpower
I have met several women who lament their “inability” to ejaculate. “I try and try, and nothing happens!”
While everything I have read and experienced suggests that every cis-gendered woman has the physiological capacity to ejaculate, I stress that it is not a parlor trick, nor is it an achievement to unlock as you make your way through the levels of sexual experimentation. It is a wonderful phenomenon to be appreciated, but no pressure should be put on yourself or your partner, nor should anyone feel bad if it doesn’t happen.
Like achieving orgasm, the more conscious effort a woman puts into reaching a goal, rather than enjoying the journey, the less likely she is to experience what she seeks. I recommend closing your eyes, trying to clear your mind, and allowing the physical sensations you are experiencing to completely occupy your thoughts.
2. People have known about female ejaculation for centuries
Western literary references to squirting date as far back at the 1500s, when some medical practitioners and religious leaders believed it to be a necessary component for reproduction. By the 19th Century, the term “female prostate” appears more frequently in texts, and the birth of sexual studies in the 20th century led to a widespread debate regarding the existence and origin of female ejaculation.
3. And they have been arguing about it for centuries
Most of the references to female ejaculation before the 1950s are in a pathological sense, often with the phrase “sexual abnormality” and sometimes lumped in with sexual dysfunctions such as pedophilia and nymphomania. Other writings blatantly refer to any release of fluid as “sexual incontinence” and dismiss any reports of female ejaculation as “erroneous beliefs.”
Later, as more specialists became aware of the paraurethral glands and began examining the fluid itself, some feminist writers took a stand against the existence of female ejaculation, calling it the masculinization of female sexuality and arguing that not every male sexual experience needs to have a female counterpart.
4. It isn’t urine…
One common fear that has been expressed to me many times is “What if I urinate, or my partner thinks it’s urine?”
While there have been far fewer studies on female ejaculation compared to its male counterpart, scientist have done chemical analysis on samples of female ejaculate. While some sample contained traces of urea and ammonia (which some suggested are present because the liquid exits through the urethra), the proteins present are more analogous to prostate secretions than anything else. I highly suggest reading about the Skene’s glands and Bartholin’s gland, both of which exist within the urethra are believed to play a role in the production of ejaculate
5. …Except when it is
I had a long-term partner when I was in my early twenties who had, for lack of a better term, squirt envy. She marveled at my ultra-wet orgasms and would bolt upright after her own climaxes, sweating and panting, to ask, “Did it happen? Did I do it??”
One snowy afternoon she proclaimed that today was the day we were going to make her squirt, and we weren’t going to do anything else until she had done it. We camped out on my bed surrounded by vibrators and dildos and set to work. Four hours later she had experienced several intense (but “dry”) orgasms and was approaching another. I was using all her favorite moves while telling her how unbelievably sexy she was. “You’re amazing, baby, just ride it out and let go…”
A tablespoon of liquid shot out of her. Then another, followed by a stream of warm liquid that must have added up to over a cup, accompanied by a familiar, Windex-like odor. She had peed. She was mortified and exhausted, but I was impressed. She hadn’t gotten up at all that day, and the intense pelvic stimulation combined with her absolute relaxation released her bladder. She had let go! I use this anecdote as yet another example of how attempting to force ejaculation is not generally successful, and to remind myself to pee before I play.