We all know that care must be taken while having sex during pregnancy. This is especially true while having kinky sex during your pregnancy, but don’t worry there is still room for cohesive relationship with kink & pregnancy. At times it may seem like it is difficult to engage in any kink during your pregnancy, but it can be done with modifications. I was fortunate enough to be able to talk freely with my OB/GYN ahead of time and discuss our kinky activities to ensure that I was not putting myself, or our baby, at risk as a result of aggressive kinky sex. I also took personal responsibility in ensuring that none of our activities were outside of my comfort zone. If something that ordinarily did not hurt suddenly did, I spoke up. Some will tell you that you absolutely should not engage in kink during your pregnancy, while others will tell you that you should not have limits. Here are some examples of what we did and what worked for us.
As my body changed we found that I became more sensitive to different sensations and my typical pain tolerance dropped. While a nibble on my chest would normally be a welcomed feeling, it became something I didn’t have the tolerance for. So instead of biting around that area, we tested other spots and found that the inner thighs and hips were areas I could still enjoy being nibbled on. A favorite feeling of mine is the sting of my husband’s cat of nine tails on my hips and bottom. Since we were concerned about the straps wrapping around and hitting my tummy, we decided the safer options were caning and spanking. That was a decision we made very early in the pregnancy. Well, before I had any physical signs of being pregnant. A caning or spanking still provided me with the stingy feeling I enjoy.
I really enjoyed being tied up and suspended prior to becoming pregnant. I found that being suspended during this time was very uncomfortable due to the pressure that it created. While we did end up putting the suspension on hold, I found that a shibari style rope chest harness was very pleasurable and accentuated my growing breasts. Binding my arms behind my back or above my head still provided the restricted, tight feeling I enjoy when it comes to being tied up in rope. We were also able to develop our own loose, decorative ties to use around my expanding belly as a way to just have fun.
A common symptom of being pregnant is becoming congested in the nasal area. It was one of my biggest issues. I became rather congested and could not breath through my nose most of time. One of our favorite toys to use is a solid ball gag, which can restrict breathing through the nose only. We were able to work around that issue by using an o-ring gag instead. It allowed me to breath through my mouth and still provided some of the constraint. We did decide to not engage in any breath play that required the constriction of my throat. Our concern was that it could do some unforeseeable harm.
It’s important to remember that every pregnancy is different. Just because one person was able to engage in one area of kink, it doesn’t mean that you will be able to. When in doubt, just don’t do it. There’s no point in putting yourself or your baby at risk. I’ve been through two pregnancies while kinky and both were completely different. I couldn’t do some things through one that I was able to do during the other. While I admit that I did miss the activities I couldn’t do, I didn’t push myself to do them anyways and my husband didn’t push me either.
For more classes about balancing kink and family life check out the Touch Of Flavor Conference coming to Baltimore.